Something has been irking me lately. I used to get so mad when I saw the eHarmony commercials with the super average looking man and the really attractive wife. According to TV, you would think that happened far less than the ad campaign is giving you hope for. That's not my particular issue this time. However, it did made me think. Just how is anyone supposed to be successful at online dating?
You're being inundated with information and pictures from the moment you click the sign-up button. You spend hours of time picking your best profile picture and crafting the perfect answer to the profile questions. If you've ever completed one, you know that they can seem never-ending and they can get pretty involved. By the time you're done, everything that anyone could need to know about you is on display. Now that that's over, you begin to sort through all the matches that the site is offering up at this potential love buffet. And a nanosecond after you've messaged one person (because he was so your type), you now have seven new choices dangling in front of you. If you ask me, this just spells d-i-s-a-s-t-e-r. If you weren't already picky enough in your real-life encounters, now you have 3,742 possible new people to sift through and to make matters worse, you can almost bet that profile picture was taken at least six months ago. Now, does that mean that if you add all this up, that you're destined to fail at finding love online? Not necessarily, but hear me out.
Online dating is supposed to be easier because your matches are served to you like that stack of warm plates at a buffet restaurant. I mean really, though? Why do you go to a buffet? Maybe you're starving. Maybe you can never make up your mind on what to eat so you just have a little bit of everything. I think that's a problem though. When you're browsing through all your new potential mates, you're more than likely going to message several at a time. As you're waiting for them to respond, you're probably going to keep looking at profiles and messaging more people. By the time you stop, you've got 15 people that you've chosen plus the ones that have found and messaged you.
You really put all those irons in the fire. There's no playing around going on here. How are you going to respond to all these inquiries? More than likely, it will be with some generic answers that didn't require much thought at all. And if you chose to go out on a date with that hot guy, what exactly are you going to talk about? You've already read his biography. You might have even googled him, found him on Facebook and creeped on his page. All this multi-tasking can be detrimental to your success at finding a good potential match because you're not putting any real effort into your responses. And that date is going to be awkward because there's no mystery left. Hooray for awkward lulls in conversation! These dating sites are big business and since most of them charge you a monthly fee, I bet they're counting on your multiple-iron technique to keep you paying dues for a long time to come. Do yourself a favor. Slow down and think about what's really important to you. Oh, and as my mother says, don't let your eyes be bigger than your stomach. Just because all the food is there for you to eat, doesn't mean you should eat mindlessly. I'm positive the same goes for dating, whether you choose on or offline.
Photo: Stuart Miles
Friday, July 20, 2012
Online Dating: Does It Really Make Sense?
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